Happy New.. Diet!!

Happy New Year! As we all have just celebrated with festive cheer the last day of 2015, and welcome the fresh newness of 2016. Things all start out fresh and sparkling new on January 1st. And I …as I am sure many many others like myself are starting a diet. I started it later this year, later then the January 1st resolution deadline. January 1st seemed to have way to many failures attached to it. So I opted for January 4th, its a Monday (Right? Mondays never have failures attached…). Seemed appropriate to start on Monday…  I needed the weekend for binge drinking and eating high fat high sugar foods. I needed to enjoy my last days of joyful eating. Mostly I needed to convince myself that Ive got this. Im heading down a new path, a journey that could be long and at times stressful…and possibly disappointing. I needed to prepare myself mentally and emotionally. Most of all I have to want this with every fiber of my overweight being! I hate the word diet. It gives me twitches, and the mere idea of not eating deep dish pizza and drinking it down with a bottle of wine makes me so hungry already, why does this have to be so hard?!! For the past few weeks prior to the New Year I have been planning, writing this shit down, strategizing , planning my meals, planning ways im going to avoid the bad food. For years I have struggled and kind of given up on a health focused life. I’ve come to a point that I just don’t feel well anymore. I’m always tired, and completely out of shape. Plus who knows when the evil diabetes will rear its ugly monster head and take over my body like and alien abduction. Diabetes runs rampant in my family, not to mention 21 million by the end of 2014 had been diagnosed. They figure more than 8 million on top of that have it, and dont even know they have it. I do not want it!! It can kiss my ass, preferably my skinny one. Why should I pave the way so easily for it? I know its coming, Im an extremely stubborn person I wouldnt let anything or anyone else control my life. So why have I let myself go so far?  I’m young. ..I’m single…my daughter is 16 and will soon enough be drifting off to adulthood and that inevitable independence that 10 years ago looked so far away.  So now what? I’m over weight I don’t have an ounce of confidence. What I am right now is so far off compared to what I want to be and what I want to have. On Monday I vowed to fight the battle of me. Yes ..ME. I am my worst enemy. I make the decisions, no one shoved food down my throat. No person other than myself said, “Oh you dont have to walk today, and besides Desperate Housewives is on! Way more important then that walking bullshit. Oh and while you’re on that couch watching tv, pour yourself a glass of wine and make sure you finish the bottle!!” Yaaaa ME,thats all me.

Heres to this 2016 brand new year! May we all succeed and fail, and succeed and fail…